MOTHER OF LOVE

Sin is a trick and a disguise of Krishna to conceal Himself from the gaze of the virtuous

April 22, 1970

So, have you brought questions?

(Laughing) No!

And you?

(silence)

Outwardly, sick people, difficulties, complications.... Very difficult ... very difficult... It has almost come to look like a relentless fury.
The only thing is Sri Aurobindos Aphorisms, which are more and more amusing. Have you received them?

(Satprem reads)

483 - Sin is a trick and a disguise of Krishna to conceal Himself from the gaze of the virtuous. Behold, O Pharisee, God in the sinner, sin in thyself purifying thy heart; clasp thy brother.

"Sin in thy heart," it looks like ... Isn't it a joke? Is the word "sinning" or "fishing"?! [[The two words are similar in French (pécher, to sin, and pêcher, to fish). ]]

It's "sinning"!

In French, it's hard to distinguish!

But this one is wonderful:

482 - My lover took away my robe of sin ...

Oh, yes, it's wonderful! And when he takes away the robe of virtue!...

... and I let it fall, rejoicing; then he plucked at my robe of virtue, but I was ashamed and alarmed and prevented him. It was not till he wrested it from me by force that I saw how my soul had been hidden from me.

Ah, that's admirable. Admirable.
But T. [a disciple who asks "questions" on the Aphorisms] sends me four or five of them at one go, without space to answer each ... so I only answer the last one!
It would be good to say, "Let our robe of virtue fall so we may be ready for the Truth."
That's one of the things being constantly done - oh, it's been like that for a long time, it's a long time since the body has been free from this illusion of sin and virtue, a long time. It finds it quite ... quite ridiculous!
And then, in the contact with people ... I hardly know who the people I see are (just about), so I see them without a thought, you understand, as they are, and AFTERWARDS I ask, or I am told about them, and ... (laughing) I realize that most of the time, if a contact is made (when I see them, a contact is made, a receptivity), it's with the people most scorned by others, people who outwardly behave like real boors! Just recently again I had an experience like that.
One of the things hardest to bear is obviously self-righteous indignation. You know, people tell me what's going on (everyone tells me some story), and the vibrations hardest to bear, those that cause a ... (gesture of unpleasant friction) are those of self-righteous indignation.
Now, I have to say one thing: when people come to see me (people whom I don't know, not those I see all the time), all those visitors, it's the best part of them that comes out. Several times I had contacts with people and the impression that something can be done, that they have a receptivity - and afterwards, those people misbehave, they cause disorder or trouble for others! But when they are in front of me, they're not the same. They feel it, they feel it's something else becoming active. But it's the Presence that ... compels; then they go away, and they behave very badly, they quarrel, they ... It's very difficult!
I see people from Auroville in rotation (once a week), in fact to try and work on this material, and it's really interesting (people I don't know: every time I am brought one or two or three new ones; some stay on, and others come in rotation). I said, "Those who want a bath of silence can come in turn," and not a word is spoken. It's really interesting. Well, there are people there who behave like ... and despite everything, they feel that what they are here is superior to what they are there. But the others would need to have a lot of patience!...

(silence)

What do you have to ask, or to say?... There is no need to "ask" - tell me something.

How can one make conscious contact with this subtle physical?

That, mon petit, I have no idea, because I never did it deliberately! (Mother laughs) It came on its own.
Now, very strangely, there are times when both are there, and then ... A good thing I keep quiet (it's only to you that I speak), otherwise people would surely say, "Mother is taking leave of her senses!" (laughter)
For instance, there is a region (I went there exclusively for a time, a few months - I don't remember, maybe a little more, maybe a year), a region where there are many scenes from Nature, like fields, gardens ... but all behind nets! There is a net of one color, another color ... And it has a meaning. Absolutely everything is behind a net, you are ... as if you moved about with nets. But it's not a single net, it depends: for its form and color the net depends on what's behind. And it is ... the means of communication. You understand, it's lucky I don't speak because they'd say I have taken leave of my senses! And I see that with my eyes open, during the day, can you imagine! So I'll see my room, for example - I'll be here, seeing people - and at the same time I'll see one landscape or another, and it all changes and moves about... with a net between me and the landscapes, like that.... The net seems to be ... (how can I explain?) what separates this subtle physical from the ordinary physical. But what does this net represent? I don't know... You see, there is no mentalization, there are no explanations, there's no thought, no reasoning, all that is clearly done away with. So, in fact, I see ...
The sensation isn't the same either. Our way of feeling on the physical level isn't there, it doesn't work that way.... It's more like a sense of proximity or non-communication, or indifference; but things belonging to the indifferent world do not show themselves when the dual vision is there.

(silence)

Nights are very peculiar. And precisely because all that isn't mentalized, it's hardly possible to describe or explain.... But this subtle physical very concretely has the sense or feeling or perception (I don't know) of the divine Presence - the divine Presence in all things, everywhere. So then, this body is ... one might say, partly this way and partly that way (gesture of oscillation between two worlds).... That was one thing I asked this morning: how (the body asked itself), why, how, how is it that, having this divine perception almost constantly (because, as I told you, that consciousness is in the process of being established), how is it that the body feels this anguish? - It lives in a sort of constant anguish. So what's that anguish?... And there are no explanations or ... But just when it asked that, there was something like Sri Aurobindo's manner, so full of humor, as if it were he (but not visible), telling me, "Look carefully: in this anguish, there is Bliss." And this morning, I was sitting on my bed about to get up, and there was this kind of ... I can't call it suffering, but ... it would be more like a discomfort, I don't know, as if at the thought of the whole day ahead (but "thought," it's not a thought: it's as if the day were weighing down), and while I was feeling that discomfort (I had to make an effort to get up and resume activity), at the same time, there was something laughing deep down, all the way down, and saying, "But!..." And it was in bliss. But then, the body has been (that was part of its formation) very careful to maintain commonsense - not to go off its rocker.... You feel you are ... just on the borderline, you know: one very small movement like that, and ... (gesture of dissolution).
The body was used to commonsense, practical sense - and that, prrrt!... seems to be crumbling away So there is a sort of ... What saves the situation is that I say to myself (I SEE - I don't know how to explain - I see it's people's reaction: in front of this, people quite naturally feel you're taking leave of your senses), so I say to myself, "What do I care! What do I care what they think of me - whoever it may be, I couldn't care less." The body couldn't care less (it's been a long time since the rest stopped caring, but the body). Then I see in my memory certain expressions of Sri Aurobindo's, certain smiles in front of perfectly reasonable attitudes ... and the ridiculousness of those reasonable attitudes becomes patent. I live in that all the time.
It's ... (I don't know how to put it), it's like this (tight gesture, one hand pressed against the other): in one attitude (but not a willed, devised attitude, not that: its spontaneous), in one attitude, you are per-fect-ly at ease - everything is peaceful, normal; then, things remaining the same, there is beside that (not even beside, not inside or ... I don't know how to explain, it's simultaneous), there is ... a slight anguish. And that anguish is constant - maybe it's the anguish of a dying way of being, I don't know, but it makes for a strange situation.
But then, everything becomes simple when someone is there, receptive, that is, comes without thought, without ... simply like a sponge that absorbs. Then the Presence becomes concretely perceptible, quite so. Things are exactly the same, but the Presence is concrete and quite ... not only perceptible: it imposes itself. Then things come to a halt, there is a stabilization - and everything becomes perfect.
But it depends a lot - I mean, it STILL depends - on peoples receptivity... And these last few days, I've had the impression, or something like a perception, an impression of an AWESOME Power! The Power that would seem capable of bringing a dead man back to life, you know. An awesome Power that uses this [the body] without conscious identification, but quite, quite naturally, without ... as if there were no resistance. It's a natural state, and it's neither this nor that nor that, it's ... it's EVERYTHING (gesture showing an immense movement) which ... which acts according to circumstances.
Usually I don't say anything (it's the first time I've said that), because there is still a sort of memory of what was [in the past], something remaining conscious that if those things are said quite simply as they are, then ... the impression people would get ... I don't know. The body doesn't care, but something is watchful - I see that "something" as a person (whom I don't know, besides) watching over my body and over circumstances, and stopping me from doing certain things ... so there may be no catastrophes.
It's an impersonal person, I don't know; there's no personal relationship with it, but it's someone whose responsibility is to see to this body's well-being, and especially to its relations with others, because the body has reached the point where ... it really couldn't care less.
Some curious things. Some people are quite well-disposed and even, I might say, full of affection, of care, and ... I don't know, I can't explain, but certain things have to remain as they are and there should be nothing to disturb those people - but the body is quite unconcerned about that. The conscious, active being is turned only to the supreme Consciousness and exclusively concerned with doing what this Consciousness wants it to do, and so there are, as it were, people (or someone) whose responsibility is to see that things can be understood in the transitory state we are in. There. [[Seventeen years earlier, on 20 May 1953, in the course of a talk at the Ashram's Playground in front of the gathered disciples, Mother had asked this question: "Is it possible for one body to change without something changing in those around it? What will be your relationship with other objects if you have changed so much? Or with other beings?... It seems necessary for a totality of things to change, at least in certain relative proportions, so that one may exist, go on existing...." That may well be the whole problem. ]]

(silence)

But with people, when I am told about a circumstance, when someone (directly or through someone else) tells me some difficulty, some circumstance ... there comes the clear, precise vision of what needs to be done, and it doesn't correspond to any thought, nothing at all (once I have said it, generally I don't even remember what I have said). And downright practical: this must be done, that must not be done.
Ordinary life, the ordinary way is as if projected onto a screen (it's not at all within, it's ...), and constantly the disorder of ordinary life is as if shown - insubstantial, but perceptible. And if there were something [in Mother] still open to that, or even (let's put it very simply), if there is something still open, the result is a fact: a discomfort, or quite unpleasant things - more and more it's beginning to be unreal and unable to touch [Mother] ... but you can't be sure.
It's a life which, described in detail, would be absolutely the life of ... [a madman]. Luckily, I still appear to have some common-sense! (laughter)
But I don't talk about all that.

(At that precise moment, Satprem strongly had the following thought, which he almost told Mother: "If a caterpillar's vision were suddenly changed into a man's vision, it would clearly mean a bursting of its whole logic.")

(long silence)

And you (to Sujata), do you have something to say?

Very often, afterwards when I am in front of you, I feel...

I can't hear.

After Satprem leaves, I come and do my pranam. [[Generally, when Satprem leaves at the end of the conversation, Sujata remains alone with Mother for a few moments. ]] Then, in front of your gaze, my true inner being seems to come to the front.

Yes.

And curiously, I have the sensation of a force of... Do you know the Ganges, the goddess Ganga? I feel an affinity with her.

With the river?

With that goddess.

Well, that's strange!

(silence)

This identification [with the Ganges] is the power of vital plasticity. ... Probably there are in that way families of beings.

(Mother plunges in)

Do you get a special sensation when you have that? Do you feel something special?

(Sujata:) Right now, it's as if very interiorized, and at the same time with the inner being in front: both at the same time, like that.

Yes.

(Mother plunges in again)

Nineteen Sixty Seven

                                             1967 – Scatter the old world, build a new world
Don't be under the illusion that I am not there. I am there, the force, the consciousness are there, but there is no receptivity. During the Chinese trouble, I was in those places in the front, concretely, but I am sorry to say that the only people who were receptive were the Chinese. The impulsion to come forward disappeared. That is receptivity. No one knew why they

withdrew! On the Indian side a few were touched and
they told me of terrible conditions.

May 6, 1967

I made a speech to P. and A. (not "made a speech," but they told me about something and I started speaking), and P. tried to note it down. He hasn't read it to me, I don't know what he wrote; you can read it to me if you like.
But wait.... On the morning of the 4th, when I got up (it was 4:30), suddenly I seemed to be sent ... well, it was as if I were sent a ball of lightning like this (Mother strikes her head). I said, "Ah, very well!" (Mother laughs) But it shook me! It was so strong that it shook me (I was sitting over there). Then came the explanation of the "message" for 4.5.67. It came in English. He told me, "You must say this, you must say this, you must ..." and it kept being repeated till I had noted it down.
You remember the message, don't you?[["Earth-life is the self-chosen habitation of a great Divinity and his aeonic will is to change it from a blind prison into his splendid mansion and high heaven-reaching temple." (Sri Aurobindo, The Hour of God, p.73) ]]

(Mother reads her note:)

"The Divinity mentioned by Sri Aurobindo ...
It was Sri Aurobindo speaking to me, but he said it like that!
"The Divinity mentioned by Sri Aurobindo is NOT A PERSON...
He insisted a lot on this.
"... is not a person, but a condition to be shared and lived by all those who prepare themselves for it."
So I was walking (I always walk a half-hour in the morning, saying the mantra), and he went on and on and on repeating it, like that, until this expression came. Then, when I had noted it on paper, it was over.
Afterwards, he told me to put it into French like this:
"La Divinitй dont parle Sri Aurobindo n'est pas une personne, mais un йtat auquel participeront tous ceux qui se sont prйparйs а le recevoir."

Did something happen on the 4th?

That is what happened.
And a constant Presence the whole day long.
I tell you, it started like that in the morning, as if I had been stunned for the day - I no longer existed.
It's like that all the time: the Force at work, the Force at work, the Force at work ... all the time like that, constantly, nothing but the Force at work. That's what I told you the other day [the two vibrations], it's like that. But all the time, all the time. At the balcony, constantly, constantly: the Force at work, the Force at work ... Nothing remains except that.
And as there is a large crowd, it does a lot of work.
But at the balcony (and even before, in the morning when that ball of lightning came), there was a very special concentration on you. But that, I don't know, it's for you to say. If you felt something, so much the better!

I had a very pleasant, very good meditation. I felt the Power, but ...

Yes, the meditation gave the sense of something very charming. And a constant insistence on Harmony, Harmony, Harmony.... A harmonious balance: harmonious balance of nations, harmonious balance of people, harmonious balance of inner faculties, harmonious balance ... like that.
And then, resistances are clearly expressed as a disharmony.
Something extremely smiling, harmonious, smiling, harmonious....
There was a rather interesting phenomenon (it was yesterday or the day before), amusing little details: now the last member of the government of India has been converted, so to speak. All the government members (the central government - I don't mean the whole country, but the center), all the government members are ... (what should I say?) I might almost say "apprentice disciples of Sri Aurobindo," with a great goodwill to serve.
And everywhere, everywhere in the world, the signs of a CONSCIOUS goodwill awakening.
That's what Sri Aurobindo once said to me. What he saw was that the supramental Force would have enough influence on the various governments of the earth, of the nations, to permit hope for a harmony.
If that's how it is, it's something.
We'll see.

But still I didn't see the Light!

You didn't see the Light.

I didn't have a sensation of contacting ...

... something new.

I suppose I must be dense.

No ... No, as for me, I still see (it's the same thing in this body, you understand), there are still small spots of obtuseness, you know: scattered here and there, like that - very small spots of obtuseness, but sufficient to stop the movement from being integral.
For instance, what Sri Aurobindo says - that purity which consists in receiving ONLY the Influence of the Divine, so that none of the other influences can touch you ... For instance, a certain number of people have been paid to destroy me. I know it. And I see it. Well, it can't do anything, but it does give a little work - it SHOULDN'T give any work. Now and then I am obliged to hold up the shield of white Light to stop them from coming through. That shouldn't be necessary, it should be automatic. And it comes from the fact that swarms of cells still have old habits - old imprints, old habits.
That must change.
They weep a little ("weep," well ...), they whine a little; they are very conscious of their infirmity and pray a lot, but ... they still have the sensation that they would need some peace and quiet and a certain amount of time for the supreme Harmony to be able to penetrate everywhere - which is silly, but ... So they feel they are, not exactly in contradiction but somewhat constrained or weighed down by the multitude - the immensity - of the material work. You understand, this [body] can hardly eat anymore, doesn't have time to rest anymore (now even at night there's much work - I had made a resolve to remain quiet at night, but there's work and it has to be done), so the result of it all is that ... (gesture of conflict). They [the cells] are stupid, they still feel, "Oh, if I could have some nice peace and quiet, then I would change." They need a slap. That's all.
There's still some friction.
And the body is conscious enough to be convinced that it has no right to demand the change (I mean a certain change) in the Whole so as to enable its own change. That it knows very well: "Then what use am I? If I am like the others, I am useless - I MUST have the capacity to emerge into the Light, whatever the people or difficulties around me." It knows that, it's under no illusions. But still, there is some slight friction.

(silence)

Well, read me this notation by Pavitra, I'd be curious to know how it is.
"About physical suffering, Mother says:
"There are three different layers or levels of consciousness that are the origin of that suffering. They are as if juxtaposed, superimposed, but don't intermingle. You pass from one to the other in alternation, without fixed order.
It's not quite like that. It has become so rigid! Never mind, read on.
"One is a repulsion, a fear that sometimes borders on terror. The second is a perverse, unavowed attraction. The third, a sense of inevitability, of 'can't be helped,' of total helplessness.
"Almost everyone allows himself to be ensnared, but there IS one remedy - only one - to cure all those diseases (doctors are something else altogether, they are another ill, which doesn't really cure).
"This remedy - it's good for all earth life - is to attain and open up to the consciousness of Harmony - not mental or vital harmony, but the 'essential' harmony, the 'principle' of harmony.
"It's always the same remedy. It's wonderfully effective if one can apply it, but that is difficult because the human consciousness is very unstable, in constant change. That change is what gives man the sense of life and movement. It's absolutely stupid, but that's how it is!
"So, if one can make one's consciousness stable and bring those juxtaposed layers into contact with the consciousness of harmony, there are seemingly miraculous results. For instance, S. came back this morning, ten years younger; as you know, he was half-dead....
(Laughing) S. isn't you! It's someone from Calcutta.
"... They had wired me from Calcutta that he was dying. So I concentrated (gesture) like that ... to make contact little by little with this force of harmony, this principle of harmony.... And now he tells me that he feels quite fine, quite a new man.
"That's what I did....
He even told me (I saw him), he even told me the vision that was at the origin of his cure. And it was really interesting. He said he saw it almost with open eyes: everything was dark (it was in the night), the room was dark, he felt absolutely depressed, and - it was a heart attack - had no more interest in anything, no more interest in life, and felt as if he was letting himself "flow into death," just like that. Then, suddenly, he thought of me. And - he says his eyes were open - the whole room was dark, except for a sort of oval of light just in front of him. A quite dazzling oval of light, which stayed on. So he looked (he wasn't asleep), he looked to see what could be causing that light (he is materialistic enough), but then, nothing - he realized there was nothing. Then he started watching that light, and he saw, rising from the bottom (he didn't know from where, couldn't see from where) a sort of flame - two small flames - of a very, very pale light, very bright. He found it interesting, and continued to watch. And all of a sudden, he saw in the light the shape of what he calls ... I think it's Mahasaraswati (I forget which of the four, but I think it's Mahasaraswati: "perfection in work"), he saw her there, staying there. And at the same time he felt in himself, oh, a great desire to serve, to work well, to consecrate his life to the divine work, all that. And the next morning, when the doctors came they said, "Oh, everything is changed!"
Interesting. And it coincided with the time when I was doing my concentration here. (I had got the telegram from a young boy he adopted and is very fond of: he had sent a telegram to let me know that the doctors had all but condemned him.) Then he had that experience - it's a transcription, of course, according to his conception. But it's interesting.
But I certainly don't want anyone to know what I am saying here: everyone must be left to his own conception. As for him, he is convinced it's Mahasaraswati who gave him back his life (still he has much devotion for me, but that doesn't matter ...). I don't want it known. I didn't say anything to him, I smiled at him - yes, I told him, "You are receptive." And when he expressed his gratitude, I said, "We needed you to do some work." Like that, quite simply.
But I found that interesting, because ... It's generally like this: the Force is there, working, and if something comes (a call from someone, a prayer or something), all this (gesture to the forehead) generally remains absolutely still, immobile, merely letting the Force pass through, and all I sometimes do is simply (gesture of offering or presenting something upward): "Lord, here is this task, it's for You." That's all, and I leave it. But in this case, I was sitting at my table (the telegram had just come), concentrating, and I quite deliberately and consciously put him in contact with the Force. Because there was a whole world of suggestions, he expected the end: "Now it's the end." So because of that, I concentrated and put a formation.

(silence)

Is this "notation" over?

No, it goes on:

"... It's a highly superior equilibrium.
"It reminded me of Thйon who used to say that the world had been put forth and reabsorbed six times; in other words, that there had been six creations and six pralayas.[[Pralaya: the destruction or end of a world. ]] And that now we were in the seventh creation, the last. The world would find a new, higher equilibrium, not static but progressive, which means there would be unending progress in equilibrium and harmony, without pralaya."

(April 24, 1967)

That I already told you several times.
But I don't want the story of S. to be published; I don't want to seem to be boasting about having saved his life, you understand! It might have quite unfortunate consequences for himself.... I only told Pavitra because I was still under the impact of the experience, I had just seen the man: when he walked in I hardly recognized him! That is, he struck me as a thoroughly new man. And, interestingly, he felt it, he said, "Oh, but it's as if the old man had died, I am a new man." That is to say, I found in him the energy he used to have some twenty or thirty years ago.

Heaven And Hell

Heaven and hell are at once true and false. They exist and don't exist. I've seen various people go to heavens or hells after their death, and it's very difficult to make them understand that it is not real. Once it took me more than a year to convince someone that his so-called hell was not hell, and to get him out of it.
But there is something else - the psychological condition that you yourself create, the asuric hell you live in when you cultivate an asuric nature within you.
**

If no vibrations ever disappear, then what happens with all these horrible things coming from every corner of the world? Don't they pile up? Don't the bad vibrations take on a more and more enormous volume in the end?

They are transformed. And at times they are transformed almost immediately.
You can't see it or feel it till you concretely live the fact that all is divine, that HE is everywhere, in everything, always, in all that happens.
The first reaction is always a kind of shrinking before things which seem horrible, but if you can overcome that and really have the experience, everything changes.
And there are hundreds and hundreds of little experiences like that, like so many little stones marking the way. Then you see that the two things are ALWAYS together: the destructive and the constructive. You can't see one without seeing the other. A time comes when the effort is to conquer the negative parts of creation and death (as at the end of Savitri), and when you have conquered that, then you're above. And then if you look at all these things, even those which seem the most opposed to the Divine, even acts of cruelty done for the pleasure of cruelty, you see the Presence - the Presence that annuls their effects. And it's absolutely marvelous.
I had a startling experience one day when X was doing his pujas to encircle the titans. He was in difficulty and I was about to intervene to help him when I was abruptly stopped. I was faced by a massive blackness (blacker than the blackest physical thing) and suddenly, right at its center, I saw the Divine Love shining with such a splendor - I had never seen it so splendid.
And now it has become constant; each time I hear or see something ugly or horrible, or each time something ugly or horrible happens, something which is a negation of the divine life ... just behind is this flame - so wonderful. And then the effect is annulled.
There is a magnificence of realization which could not have been had this evil, this horror and this negation not been.
Our consciousness shrinks from these things which belong to the past and which are no longer in their place, so we feel disgust and revulsion - because we are ignorant. But if we can raise ourselves above and be in contact with That - the supreme Light - which is ALWAYS just behind, then this Light seems all the more supreme because it is so much its own opposite.
Then you know.
You know, so there is no longer this uneasiness, this shrinking. You feel carried more and more by all that you reject; you are in a forward movement, further and further, higher, constantly further.

@

July 15, 1960

"Hell, as a place of eternal punishment, is not biblical.
Physical plane fire offers many benefits: it purifies, it renders malleable, it warms. The biblical eternal fire … lake of fire is fire operating at a higher vibratory rate. The eternal fire is the Purple Transmuting Flame. This Transmuting Flame can be used to purify the energy field around our physical, emotional, and lower mental bodies. It is the purple flame seen hovering around the physical body in the Divine Self chart. As our lower bodies are purified by the Flame, we are transformed from “something common into something special.”
The lake of fire is God’s gift ensuring that all of humanity ascends into the higher consciousness of the heavenly abodes—even the “fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars.”
http://pathwaytoascension.wordpress.com/2011/03/24/hell-as-a-place-for-some-to-spend-eternity-is-not-biblical/

Purity

May 21, 1960

What I call purity, the true purity, is not all those things morality teaches: it is non-ego.
There must be nothing but Him.
Him, not only because we have given Him everything and consecrated ourselves totally to Him (that is not enough), but Him because He has taken total possession of the human instrument.
At times, I feel that I'll never get over the difficulty. We are besieged by this enormous world of hostile forces - oceans of forces, churning and combining and submerging each other in gigantic pralayas,' then again regrouping and combining. When you see that, it feels as if you had to be the Divine Himself to get over the difficulty. Precisely so! (And it's the hostile forces who help you to see this, it's their role.) You have TO BE THE DIVINE, that is the solution, that is the true divine purity.

**

When X is here, I get the impression that things are going backwards instead of forwards. But once he's left, I suddenly leap ahead. And then I perceive that the progress is a real progress, that things won have really been won and they don't come undone again. That is X's true power, a very material power. For I often feel that things could come into being, they could be realized in the consciousness above (and the vision is there, the Power is there, I have it - the invisible power over the earth). But when you come down to the material plane, everything is uncertain.
* Pralaya: apocalypse, end of a world.
Whereas with X, once things have come down, they no longer dissipate. This is certainly why the Supreme put him on my path.
For example, there was one difficulty he helped me resolve. I have always been literally pestered, constantly, night and day, by all kinds of thoughts coming from people - all kinds of calls, questions, formations' that have naturally to be answered. For I have trained myself to be conscious of everything, always. But it disturbed me in the work, particularly when I needed absolute concentration - and I could never cut myself off from people or cut myself off from the world. I had to answer all these calls and these questions, I had to send the necessary force, the necessary light, the healing power, I constantly had to purify all these formations, these thoughts, these wills, these false movements that were falling on me.
What was needed was to effect a shift, a sort of transference upwards, a lifting up of all these things that come to me - so that each one, each thing, each circumstance could directly and automatically receive the force from above, the light, the response from above, and I would be a mere intermediary and a channel of the Light and the Force.
Well, I tried hard but I couldn't really find the way. At times, I almost seemed to have it, a mere nothing would have been enough; it was just a matter of getting the knack (and at heart, this is what Power is all about - to get the knack, to suddenly seize upon the means, the right vibration, what in India is called siddhi). Well, after his departure, all of a sudden it came. It happened while I was doing my japa, while I was walking up and down my room ... As if I were holding all that in my arms - it was so concrete - and lifting it up towards the Light, along with this ascending OM, rising from the very depths, OM! - and I was carrying all these people, and it was spreading forth, PHYSICALLY spreading, and I was carrying the earth, I was carrying the whole universe, but in such a tangible, concrete way - all towards the Supreme Lord.
And this was not the invisible power: it was concrete, it was tangible, it was MATERIAL.
1. Formations, in occult language, refer to all the psychological movements and impulses, conscious or unconscious, constantly emanating from the disciples and others, and which leave an imprint in the subtle atmosphere or a wandering entity seeking to fulfill itself.

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